Feminine gay sex
Policing gender
A recent psychology study finds that both gayand straight men prefer masculine-presenting gay men over more feminine-presenting lgbtq+ men for steep status roles. Researcher Ben Gerrard describes the findings of the study, published in the peer-reviewed Australian journal Sex Roles. Regardless of sexual identity, "Men are still expected to conform to more masculine styles of leadership," even as today's team-based workplaces require leaders with qualities such as warmth, empathy and strong exchange skills--all of which are conventionally considered to be "feminine" traits (Gay men discriminate, 2023).
Particularly striking is the extent to which gay men favor gay men with more conventional masculine traits in positions of leadership--defined in terms of vocal quality, body language and posture. The research suggests that implicit bias impacts both gay and straight men's expectations, potentially hindering more feminine-presenting gay men from rising to leadership roles in the workplace.
"Gay men are potentially blocking each other from positions of power," states Gerrard (Gay men discriminate, 2023).
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Learn more about the study
As the mainstream image of what a gay man is continues to morph into more of a hero and less of a victim, we continue to cast our most handsome, athletic and masculine men in the leading roles of the male lover movement. As our rainbow fades to pastel, society now understands that gay men can be just like the rest of mainstream society. Our community has a new cast of lgbtq+ heroes who place our most chiseled, scruffy-jawlined faces forward for everyone to see. From TV stars like Wentworth Miller to athletes like Jason Collins, the world now knows that we can be strong and manly and fit right in with the rest of the boys. But there is a diverse kind of strength that has always existed within gay identity, although it might not reach in the form of bulging muscles and bass voices.
Unlike his masculine counterpart, the effeminate homosexual man doesn't have the luxury of hiding behind a butch façade until he is relaxed with coming out of the closet. You know the type. He can learn the choreography to the latest pop ballad more quickly than you can learn the lyrics. In upper school he had to form a beeline for his machine the minute the bell rang so that he could shun the worn-out name calli
Gay Men and Femininity: The Horror
Why are there so many hair stylists who are gay? Why are our homes so often featured in interior blueprint magazines?
Why are we often the tastemakers of the fashion industry?
Why is there an entire décor resale website named “Previously Owned By A Gay Man”?
Is there a distinct gay “taste” gene yet to be discovered?
Alan Downs, in his popular publication The Velvet Rage, argues that the reason that male lover men are overrepresented as leaders in these industries is that we’ve had to become masters of hiding. As kids our correct selves did not get validated, and so we learned to create the appearance of beauty as way to hide our “unbeautiful” selves from the world. “We’re experts in making things and people glance good,” writes Downs.
It’s an interesting theory, and one that would be tough to prove or disprove. I contain no idea if it’s true. However, I do believe The Velvet Rage is the most important book we have on male lover men’s development.
What I love about the book are the first several chapters where he validates, with hard-hitting language, the challenges of growing up as a gay young man in a linear family. You will feel seen and heard in these chapters. They w
Growing up gay, a lack of visible role models made life confusing. When looking to film and television to help me to understand myself, I immediately saw that same-sex attracted characters were often the butt of the joke. Either that, or they were on the periphery, magically appearing when a central character needed a shoulder to cry on, a sassy pep converse or a fashion makeover. Outside the shallow, one-dimensional trope of the “gay best friend”, other queer characters – such as Andrew Van De Kamp from Desperate Housewives or Teddy from the 2008 television remake of 90210 – didn’t undergo relatable to me at all. The only thing that impossibly masculine Teddy and I (an effeminate, skinny teen who lacked his chiselled jawline) had in common was our shared attraction to men.
A decade on, LGBTQ+ inclusion has increased significantly. In the last year, films such as Call Me By Your Name and Love, Simon have centred gay love stories. Yet while the existence of these films is undoubtedly a step forward, cinema shows no sign of ending its love affair with traditionally masculine same-sex attracted men.
“Straight acting” and “masc” are terms that advance with significant baggage in gay culture. Widely circulat